Closing the Generation Gap

I am going to be part of the problem.

Actually - let me backup. I have two degrees. I have always been a hard worker - always a good student. I, like many other Americans, didn't get what I expected when I grew up. I thought I'd grow up, go to college, get a job get married have kids (not necessarily in that order). I guess thats what I did - with the exception of the kids. However I also got sick as I finished my second degree. Fortunately I'm not terminally ill - unfortunately I am drain the bank account, can't hold a job ill. Then the recession hit. Fortunately it has not hit my family severely yet - but the yet is a BIG PART of that. My husband is in construction and though his company is solid now - we can only hope that holds for the future. Of course I don't want to get into our 401K's.

Hope - that is a funny word. We use it all the time - for big things and tiny things. I hope I find true love. I hope I have kids. I hope there isn't traffic this morning. I hope these pants still fit. A lot of people have been throwing hope around lately - they've been throwing "change" around too!

Since the recession hit my family, in the form of my illness, a little earlier than it hit the rest of the country - I've had a little longer to process it. I think its a blessing in disguise.

Three years ago my husband and I had great jobs, a beautiful wedding, dream honeymoon, house in a trendy neighborhood, flashy cars. We were starting on the American Dream, right? I think the American Dream has changed so much in the last 100 years that our grandparents wouldn't recognize it anymore. I think their American Dream was to be Happy - raise their families with love and morals - and make sure that the people they loved never "wanted" for anything. I think that last part has been so distorted by my parents generation that my generation has no idea what it is anymore. I think my grandparents and great-grandparents did NOT mean that they wanted their kids to have everything with no worries. I do NOT think my grandparents meant they wanted their loved ones to have ANYTHING they WANTED.

I am going to be part of the problem. The government, news, media and everyone is saying that we need to get the American Public spending again. I am going to make it my purpose NOT to spend anymore - or anymore than I have to - but my definition of "have to" has changed.

As I have been contemplating my husband's birthday gift - I reflect on recent gifts. Exotic vacations, expensive meals, expensive stuff. I also reflect on the best gift I've ever gotten. My husband gave me a scrapbook that HE made when he proposed. It has tickets, pictures, scraps our entire relationship - from the first blind date forward. Like I said - my husband is in construction - not the emotional or crafty type. Part of what made this gift so special is the work that he secretly did - colleting and crafting - the main part is the glimpse into his heart that I so rarely get. I am tempted to find "a deal" on another exoctic vacation - but I'm now more inclined to find something insanely fun that costs nothing. I watched "Wife Swap" tonight and one mother had the other family have a food fight. It strikes me so often when I watch this show how much stuff families have and how little fun they have. I know that isn't a new idea - lots of people have been ranting on that theme - work/life balance and such - since the 90's. Its funny that it seemed to be a new idea.

My mom laughs when people act like recycling is a new idea. She says my grandparents - and their parents - were masters at recycling. I get so angry at my mom when she sends me old warped tupperware, chipped dishes, dish rags, junk. Tonight - I have a different perspective - I look at the recycling bin full of WATER bottles. I think about what simple lives my grandparents and great-grandparents lived and how they would LAUGH at us buying water twice - once from the city and once from the company that bottles the city water. Neither of my grandfathers finished high school - I don't think my grandmothers did either. I've had more math and econ classes than they had classes and I probably wasted more money in my 20's than they did in 20 years.

Both of my parents grew up in rural Georgia -and neither "wanted" for anything but never had everything. All of my grandparents and thier parents and so on had gardens - kept bees - and never wasted a cent. They all died with tons of money in the bank - enough to educate their kids and grandkids - enough to take care of themselves during their retirement. My only living grandfather is still paying for his own care at a retirement home.

My Dad started a family garden this last year - and I can not BELIEVE the amount of food we threw away. It probably would have cost us less to buy the organic produce. My grandparents though - canned and "put up" every green bean - then ate every one.

So - weclome to my blog. Welcome to my effort to recapture the American Dream - to close the GENERATION GAP. Not the dream of consumption - of convection ovens, professional stoves, granite counter tops - but the dream of Happiness - of Financial SECURITY - of simple lives full of fun and love. I can't imagine the work/life balance we'll have with no debt and still not "wanting" for anything! I don't think we need "change" - I think we need less change and more hope. I think this recession is a blessing. You always hear tell of people who lived through the Great Depression, like my grandparents, and how it affected the rest of their lives. My grandparents ALWAYS had a pantry/freezer FULL of food and never wasted any of it. How great - what a blessing - if my generation and the generations to come can learn what our grandparents learned in the Depression - without going through another depression. While Obama is imitating FDR creating New Deals our grandkids will have to pay for - I'm going back to the ambitions of my grandparents.

I guess my first quest is to find a great birthday present for my husband that he will love AND that we won't regret in years to come. I am going to find a birthday present that is going to be part of the PROBLEM!